Whitney Houston is back! She’s got a new album, a new Oprah interview, and she’s done sucking the glass wiener. Wait, scratch that. America’s most beloved dootie bubble factory performed on the Simon Cowell talent show X Factor. And her tits nearly popped out of her dress while she sounded like your cousin Debbie after smoking a half pack of pilfered Pall Malls and huffing Wite-Out under the bleachers. For the first time, we can say “Hell, WE can sing better than Whitney Houston” and mean it. And that’s saying something, because we’re a website. We don’t even have a larynx.

Tags: drugs, television, Whitney Houston

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 21st, 2009 at 10:35 am and is filed under Celebrity Gossip. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.